“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

“Do something every day that you don’t want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”

“With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.”

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life.”

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.”

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.”

“Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.”

“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”

“The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

“It is wiser to find out than suppose.”

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

“Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one’s head.”

“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”

“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

“The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.”

“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others.”

“A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.”

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked.”

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

“Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.”

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.”

“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

“Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”

“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

“There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.”

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.”

“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.”

“I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any.”

“The finest clothing made is a person’s own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.”

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.”

“Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.”

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”

“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work”

“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”

“Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.”

“Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.”

“Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.”

“Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.”

“I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping”

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

“Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.”

“Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired.”

“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”

“If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.”

Mark Twain

1835 - 1910