Mark Twain Quotes

• The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
• Do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
• With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.
• Don't wait. The time will never be just right.
• All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
• Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life.
• Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
• We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
• Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
• The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
• I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
• Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.
• It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
• The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
• It is wiser to find out than suppose.
• Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
• Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one's head.
• The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
• Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
• A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
• Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
• It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
• Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
• Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
• Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
• To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
• Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
• The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
• The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
• Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others.
• A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
• Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
• Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked.
• I can live for two months on a good compliment.
• A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
• I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
• Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
• Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
• Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
• Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
• Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.
• The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
• Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
• A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
• It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
• Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
• I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
• When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
• A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
• I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
• You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
• Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
• There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.
• Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
• The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
• I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any.
• The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.
• Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
• I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.
• Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
• The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
• Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
• When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
• If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
• Golf is a good walk spoiled.
• Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
• The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
• Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
• Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
• The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
• Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
• Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
• I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping
• Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
• Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
• Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.
• When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
• If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.